2014 World Cup: Who Gets Out of Group Play

We're now on the brink of the greatest sporting event in the world* so it's time for me to make some predictions! Am I even remotely qualified to make World Cup predictions? Well... I did win the

World Cup in World Cup 2014 on my Xbox with New Zealand, which surely counts for something. Or at least it would if I didn't create the entire team, including a 6'7 goalie. But that's neither here nor there, the important thing is I'm back to making sports predictions. Last year I predicted the Seattle Seahawks would be the best team in football & I don't see why picking the best country at fùtbol should be any more difficult. 

*Or just the biggest tournament involving the one popular sport that requires essentially no equipment, has simple enough rules that people can play it anywhere, & doesn't involve actual tackling so wimps can play it. Now to be sure the first two aren't bad things, it's good to have an accessible game that both rich & poor can play, but it is important to acknowledge the real reasons soccer is the most popular sport in the world as opposed to "because it's the best!" The third, well... when soccer players stop flopping all over the field like they've been shot maybe I'll respect their toughness. Until then give me the other sport that has constant action and a World Cup every four years, because no one can doubt it's played by real men.  Plus this, no soccer team has a pre-game ritual that cool. 

You suck "Brasil."

Haha ok, I don't know much of anything about soccer so I'm going to make two sets of predictions. Joseph is going to make cautious, cerebrally based, forecasts of the results ahead while Joe is going to make wild predictions straight from the gut. Is that too gimmicky? Maybe, but it'll be fun to see if the World Cup is anything like March Madness, where your six-year-old niece beat you this year because she liked the Connecticut mascot. Without further ado let's get to my billion dollar bracket.