2017 NFL Preview

As per tradition I'm posting my NFL preview during opening Sunday, so I won't waste your time with some expanded prelude discussing the greatness of the NFL, or its shittiness, or my past success with predictions (Half of the Super Bowl teams the last 8 years, & 3 of the winners). Let's get to it...

Will Tom Brady be celebrating again this season?

AFC

East

1. Patriots (1) 13-3
2. Dolphins      7-9
3. Bills            4-12
4. Jets              2-14

The Patriots may have lost their opening game, but their balance across all three facets of the game, plus their coach & QB, remain the envy of the league. That, & this terrible division, should allow them to grab home field advantage. Tannehill to Cutler doesn't make any difference in my feelings about the Dolphins, they simply aren't going to go 8-2 in one score games again. They were a mediocre team that got lucky last year, they'll just be mediocre this year. Ah, the Bills. A few months ago I might've taken them as a wildcard, now they've traded away half of their good players. Tyrod & LeSean will keep them competitive in a number games, but only for so long. The Jets are going to be so so so bad, two wins might be optimistic. 

Super Bowl XLIX Preview

Who will win this battle of football titans*?
*Obviously I don't mean the Tennessee Titans, they suck. 

I don't want to toot my own horn* about correctly predicting this Super Bowl five months ago so let's just get straight to talking about this fascinating game.

*Actually, I do. I'm 8-2 against the spread (Naturally, I haven't been betting), & straight up, in these playoffs. Only 6 of 64 ESPN experts correctly predicted this Super Bowl at the start of the year. In seven years of making preseason predictions I've got at least one Super Bowl team right in all but one year. I've now nailed 8 of the 14 teams during that span. King Kong ain't got s*** on me!
 
I know a lot of people aren't thrilled this game is between the Seahawks & the Patriots, the two most hated teams in the league, give or take the Cowboys & Steelers, but who cares what the haters think. The further this season went on the more apparent it became that this was the most interesting potential matchup. Sure, Denver fans would've loved a rematch, until it ended in another double digit loss. It was always a matter of time before the Colts got blasted by a better team, better for it not to be in the big game. Dallas... F@#$ that. Green Bay would've been fun though. Rodgers vs. Brady, a rematch of one of the few marquee matchups of the regular season that lived up to the hype, no one would've objected to that. This is even better though. Pete Carroll's shot at revenge on the team & owner that fired him. Tom Brady versus his successor in the clutch category, Russell Wilson (Who's 10-0 against Super Bowl winning quarterbacks, though that has a lot to do with the defense). The two best cornerbacks in the league demonstrating just how good they are. The Seahawks can become the first repeat champions since the Patriots. Belichick & Brady* can become only the second coach/QB combo to win four Super Bowls (Chuck Noll & Terry Bradshaw were the first). Brady gets a shot at beating the team that massacred his rival the year before, & in doing so cement himself as the best quarterback of his generation. They're also just the two best teams in football.** That's a lot of great storylines, & it's going to be awesome getting to see which ones play out.

*Listen, if you want to always see an asterisk next to those two names because of spygate & deflategate go ahead. You're being either extremely stupid, or biased if you do, because neither of those was A. exclusive to the Patriots or B. that big a deal, but go ahead & let your Patriot hate flow.

**Certainly some Packers fans will take exception to that claim what with Rodgers being hurt & Seattle needing a miracle comeback to win on their home turf. I'd counter that Russell Wilson quite possibly played most of that game with a concussion & the Seahawks turned the ball over 5 times & the Packers still couldn't beat them. You don't get better opportunities than that & if you can't capitalize you're simply not good enough –– at least not with your coach asleep at the wheel.

Saturday's Divisional Picks

Can the Panthers prove this fan wrong?

After a disappointing regular season of predictions I rebounded strong last week, starting the playoffs 3-1 against the spread & 4-0 overall. I'd be angry with Dallas for not covering except that their failure to easily handle the Lions allowed for the one thrilling playoff game of the weekend. In fairness, Baltimore-Pittsburgh was a solid game, the Bengals & Cardinals, however, were such a wreck offensively that they not only bored me to death for a combined 6 hours but they may have actually tricked people into thinking their opponents could win this week (SPOILERS!). This first round continued the horrible run of nationally televised games this season that saw 33 of 54 such games end with a margin of victory of 10 points or greater (That's 61 percent). Is it so much to ask for some drama?! Granted the drama in Dallas got overshadowed by a blown call but even then it was at least something to talk about.*

*What Dallas haters don't want to talk about is that Brandon Pettigrew also committed a penalty on the disputed play. And that even after the refs picked up the flag the Lions were up three with the ball & they should have gone for it facing a fourth and one from the Cowboys 41, or at least not punted 10 yards when Jim Caldwell chickened out, or maybe stopped the Cowboys when they twice converted key fourth downs in the second half, or perhaps completed one of their two (courtesy of Demarcus Lawrence's fumble) game winning drive opportunities. Suffice it to say the Cowboys won the game & the Lions lost it, regardless of the ref's screw up.

Thankfully, there's reason to believe this week's games will prove more entertaining. The two best barometers of a team's quality are point differential and Football Outsider's DVOA. In the eight teams left we have the top seven in point differential & the top six in DVOA, with DVOA less of a fan of the Colts, & the Panthers here thanks to the rest of the NFC South's abhorrence to playing defense & the sadness that is every Ryan Lindley pass. That sort of quality makes blowouts less likely, & the fact that the remaining squads are helmed by five Super Bowl winning quarterbacks, & three others who have all been to Pro Bowls, means that even if a team ends up down multiple scores early their fans need not start downing shots of Fireball less they still be sober for the 4th quarter. And if they're not close... we'll always have next week.

Now on to Saturday's picks... (Home teams in caps)

2014 NFL Preview

Can Seattle become the first team to repeat in 10 years?

I love college football. It's fantastic, & this year there's even a playoff! With that said the highlight of my fall weekends is the Christian, not the Jewish*, Sabbath. In the NFL you actually know who all of the players are. Unless you're a Raiders fan, every season you can talk yourself into believing your team is going to make the playoffs &, after the recent playoff runs of the Giants, Cardinals, & Ravens, that means they've got a chance to win it all! Does it help that my team, the Giants, have won 2 of the last 7 Super Bowls while the Arizona Wildcats have never made a Rose Bowl? Absolutely! But that's exactly my point: The NFL is what people want to believe America is like –– a place where if you plan right & work hard you can lift yourself from the bottom to the top of society –– while college football is what America really is –– a place with a giant divide of haves & have nots where the occasional surprise success story provides the illusion of hope. That's why I prefer the NFL, even with moral questionability of the entire enterprise, so I'm super excited for another season of madness that will surely make many of my following picks look shockingly foolish.**

*If we're being totally honest Judaism has it right. Christianity sold out the Sabbath, & a bunch of other things, for converts.

**But not all of them! Unlike any of ESPN's 36 experts last season I correctly predicted the Panthers to get the 2 seed in the NFC, in addition to predicting the Chiefs to make the playoffs, the Falcons to fall off (though not that drastically), & the Seahawks to win the Super Bowl. Does it matter than I also had the Giants & Bucs in the playoffs? Yeah... I know it does.

NFL Wild Card Picks

Will Sunday be the end for Ray Lewis?

I'm back after a two month hiatus to bring you my picks for the first week of the NFL playoffs.* It's been one of the more interesting seasons in recent memory dominated by a half dozen different stories throughout the year. We had the undefeated Cardinals & then we had the regular Cardinals.** There were the replacement refs who ranged from surprisingly solid to Golden-Gate bad, an argument over which rookie QB was the best*** that began with two guys & expanded to include a surprising third, two historic comebacks by all-time greats & two historic individual seasons with Adrian Peterson somehow being involved in both.**** Luckily among all of these crazy happenings we still had the Dallas Cowboys there to help keep our bearings as they stumbled out of the gate, rebounded strongly in the second half just to get their fans hopes up, & then lost the last game of the season to blow a playoff spot in favor of a third place finish in the division, just as they had the year before. Now though the true season begins...

*Hopefully I'll be able to both redeem myself for my horrible (at least on the AFC side) preseason picks & continue my playoff prediction hot streak from last year when I correctly predicted 9 of the 11 games  & beat the spread 8 of 11 times. 

**Last season I would occasionally get into arguments with people over how bad John Skelton was. Those I opposed put forth he had promise & was probably better than Kolb, I said Skelton was a giant pile of crap trying to pass himself off as an NFL quarterback. I think it's safe to say I'll never have to argue that again. 

***It's Luck. The stats don't back me up, but they also don't tell you how much more dependent the Colts are on Luck than the Skins or Hawks are on their rookie signal callers. As good as RG3 was Kirk Cousins finished off one game saving drive & won another game with Griffin out, Wilson has by far the best team around him, & they both have great running games to support them. Luck had Reggie Wayne &... Yea. 

****My MVP ballot: 
1. AP-2,097 yards on 6.0 YPC while dragging Christian Ponder into the playoffs.
2. Brady-The Patriots scored 76 points more than any other team even with their best offensive weapon, Gronkowski, out much of the year.
3. Peyton-Looked even sharper than in his last year with the Colts as he took the Broncos from overachievers to legit contenders.